Low quality audio - high quality vibes! Ya idk, I just thought I should post this. The audio is really bad but who cares. The world is a mess & when I wrote this song my internal world was A MESS. And I think our outer world can often reflect our internal world and vice versa. This song had a two fold meaning for me at the time I wrote it; I was scared of everything, I had gone to visit Ross & had this epic realization that I was in love. Like IN LOVE. Like, I thought I’d been in love before but naw. And that was really scary. Here I was a year in with this dude in another country & I wanted more. I felt a willingness like “damn, I would change my whole life & stop everything I’m doing to be with this guy” (but ya of course he never asked that of me & just let things blossom naturally & that’s how you know it’s dat real luv bb).
The other factor was that I had “booked” a Europe tour..... And talked two of my best friends into taking off work to do it with me (Ernesto & Tim ) ??? Obviously a lot of shit hit the fan bc we were in foreign countries for the first time, I got heartsick after seeing Ross & then head sick when the deep fear of “who do I think I am? Going for my dreams n shit?” gurgled its' way up from the depths of my being & into our tour & THEN I got PHYSICALLY SICK so we didn’t go to Hamburg like intended & instead spent 3 days in a little cabin in the woods (w the best air bnb host of all time).
Once we were there I was like, holy shit. Literally, HOLY shit. Like the question is not “who do I think I am? Going for my dreams n shit” the question is “Who do I think I am? Going for my dreams n shit... ALONE”. Cause I wasn’t alone & my dreams weren’t given to me just out of the blue.
If I had stopped resisting, freaking out & instead just TRUSTED that God had a plan, which now in retrospect I CAN CLEARLY SEE, I would’ve saved myself a lot of turmoil. Once we wrote this song, that turmoil began to release. And then I went on to play this song live on tour for a year & the turmoil kept releasing. Music does that, it moves energy, it releases emotion & it sets us free.
So anyway, it’s my song for being scared but trusting that goodness is coming no matter what. Because literally there is no other way to think if you want to live. If you want to thrive. If you want your soul to be free & overflow with all the love this world has to offer. Be on fire with purpose & let that purpose be love & follow it WHEREVER it leads.